Mea Culpa

i thought of you as
something other than a leaf
caught in the current.

Untitled

through the end of 17 and well into 18,
i prayed every night for the love of a girl
i had known since childhood.

in doing so,
i committed what i think of now
as two of the most egregious errors.

the first,
and lesser of the two,
was to believe that anyone
would be listening to
my arrogance.

the second,
and far greater of the two,
was to believe that only one person in the world
possessed what i thought anyone should consider beautiful.
make that three of the most egregious errors.

now,
when i meet someone new,
i try to find something beautiful right away.

now,
instead of praying for love,
i hold in my pocket the thing i found,
withdrawing it in those moments between moments,
and falling in love over and over again.